TRAUMA SURVIVORS IN LOVE (PART 4 of 4)
May 4, 2016
TRANSFORMING RACISM & OPPRESSION: A SELECTION OF READINGS
August 4, 2016
Today I am writing to myself. It is what I most need to hear.
(You are welcome to eavesdrop.)
You are a force of nature.You. Are. A force of nature. Like a pea sprout, a flame, a windspiral. Like a geyser, a water spout.
You are a garter snake, a grizzly bear. A spider. A whale. Among other things.
Rise up, out of the earth. Don’t be a cowed critter, frozen to the spot.
Even prey animals relax and play, irrepressible forces of nature that they are.
That predator politician you fear? They are also a force of nature.
Life spores out of the soil, creates you, creates them, too. Life creates mischief!
Life is a shitstorm, a wildfire, a cataclysm. Among other things.
Do not fear that politician. That woman. That man. Do not suck in their narrowness and greed.
Remember? You are a force of nature. Nature is unruly, unpredictable. Dangerous. So are you.
Does every-one around you tell you to be afraid?
It’s time to listen to every-thing around you.
Did the scary words, the harsh voices, reach inside your lizard brain and set off the smoke alarm?
Now, every day is perma-panic.
Perma-panic means no peripheral vision.
It means you think you have some small something to lose, defend, concave around.
No, my friend. Pull off the racehorse blinkers.
You are a force of nature, remember?
Life shot you out of the earth, like a spore, exploding with hilarity. Awe.
You are a force of nature. A water lolling otter. A robo-feathered Bird of Paradise. Among other things.
The goodnews and badnews are the same:
The earth is groaning. Losing her cool, shedding pieces of herself. Losing her balance.
You feel her in your shocked adrenals, your grief-struck immune system.
She feels like droopy glaciers, methane plumes, burnt-tar sands, wilting forests, drowning islands.
It’s collapse time.
Transformation time.
Earth is finding and re-finding her feet.
You can feel her in your lake-swimming-arms, your ready-to-relax-back.
She feels like tick eating possums, resilient butterflies, resurrected parrots,
terrorized girls who refuse to terrorize, superhero fungi, community immune systems.
It’s transformation time. Roar-together time.
Time for us small forces of nature to demand kindness and care.
Online stories tell you, the news tells you, “Be afraid.” Some of us forces of nature carry grudges and guns. Have gone fearful.
Some of us forces of nature stoke that fear, fear of change,
Inexorable change;
change the destroyer;
life-giving change.
Animal brains seized by terror, animal bodies bleating, bodies squeak-speaking directly toyour animal brain!
Must you react? Freeze like a deer?
Must you plead and placate, attack and berate, stampede and hurry, disavow and worry, worry, worry?
Take a breath. Remember, each fearful one is a force of nature just like you.
Every one of us, Life’s little farts popping out of the earth.
(Life is a five-year-old. Among other things.)
Life is unruly, unpredictable. Dangerous. Tender and generous. Just like you.
Even you, oh force of nature, constantly air-kiss death’s cheek. You blanche like coral, frost like butterflies.
While Life, your not-so-subtle dance partner, shimmies her razor sequins, million arms vogueing, each flourish not-quite-killing-you.
And you, little force of nature, are Her chosen partner. Will you dance?
Will your eyes glow in audacious-intimate answer, like the purple one?
Do not worry about austerity, rigged elections, drones, oil-fires, bail-ins.
Do not worry. Stay awake, like a meadow mouse.
But do not worry.
Raise some hell. Adorn yourself. Yodel. Show up and be a proud spore. A spore on a mission.
Be the merry mouse, grazing the meadow. Tasting each bite as she watches the skies.
Be nectar-wired, humming bird boisterous.
Afraid of dying? You will.
Somehow, somewhen.
So what?
Be like the sparrow, nibbling grass seed.
Be the force of nature that you are.
Forces of nature do all kinds of stuff. They make up silly songs. Feel rage and grief. Among other things.
Forces of nature can put their bodies in front of what they love. You can, too.
Some forces fight like a girl-bird who never backs down. You can, too.
Fight and rest and play and pray as if you are as dead serious, as sacred, as substantial as
that undead coral reef;
those shivering monarchs;
the bees that lost their way.
It’s time, force of nature! Shake off your fur, fluff out your feathers. Yowl your Declaration.
C’mon.
Prince showed us how. Berta Caceres showed us.The ocean, the land shows us.
How to be forces of nature.
Fear is okay. But don’t stop there.
Ask the small birds and fuzzy critters. Fear comes and says, “Run, hide, wait, hold your breath, flash your beak, show your claws.”
Good idea, fear!
Fear is just Life choosing to live.
When prey animals see the shadow in the sky, hear the rustling grass, they do the fear things. To live.
After danger passes, or passes through and consumes someone, it’s back to sip and munch, mate and nest, squabble and cuddle.
Back to savor sun and wind in fur on feathers. Joy awake. Being a force of nature.
You, too. You are a force of nature. Those human forces of nature cannot scare you to early death.
They cannot stop your movement.
Your Movements.
Be afraid.
Be everything else as well.
How? Listen to the creator-destroyer.
She is louder, more terrible, sweeter, more sublime, more deadly-insistent than any human force of nature could ever be.
Here is your practice:
Turn off those scary voices for an hour. A day.
Sit, stand or lie where you are.
Plug into your spot.
Back to the spot you shot out of, when Life popped up as you.
Plug in and breathe the fire, the water, the nectar, the soil, the space.
Do not say, “Yeah, but…” to me! I know everyone of those 50 million hungry ghost “yeah, but”s.
“Yeah, but” can wait. It is time to shut up and listen.
You cannot talk yourself out of this mess. We cannot talk us out of this mess.
We cannot talk ourselves out of this messy, messy mess.
Drop into your spot—your sweet spore spot.
The spot where the earth waits for you. Rest down. Breathe down. Listen in, Listen out. Rest.
It’s urgent. Urgently slow down. Breathe.
Soon, very soon, you will not need this reminder. Not you, a force of nature.
But for now, let the earth hold you.
Breathe you.
Dream you,
‘Til you remember what you are here for.
What are you here for?
You know what you are here for:
To burrow into your spot and pop out, right-on-time.
To sob-hiccup-croon these words out of your critter body; share them with the other forces of nature.
You are here to do all the daily things.
Make breakfast with a parrot hanging from your sleeve;
Mend that broken bike basket;
Dance your feelings;
Cuddle your over-wrought adrenals.
Do all the things, you force of nature.
You force of nature.
*****
You can contact Dr. Vanissar Tarakali or make a coaching appointment via www.vanissarsomatics.com or at Tarakali Education on Facebook
